Getting Old, Kicking and Screaming

What an odd situation I've found myself in today. I spoke to a close friend earlier today who, along with a group of my other friends, were still out from last night. This was around 3PM so when i returned home from work at 5.30 I gave a couple of the other guys a call and there phones were off. The strangest sensation came over me, I actually started to get worried! I eventually managed to get hold of one of them and they were fine (except one who is still MIA but apparently being 'looked after') Why was I worried?I'm not there Mum! I've done the same thing with the same group of guys countless times before. And all of a sudden my worst fears are coming into question. Something I've been starting to think for some time now but really didn't want to think about. Am I getting old?

It all started when I started working a dead end 9to5 job. Suddenly I was getting tetchy about people playing music after midnight and slamming doors if I had to work the next day. I put this down to the fact that I love sleep possibly more then anyone has ever loved. If i could I'd marry it and move to a great open plain where the only sound is the sound of my light breathing as i sink into the beautiful arms of slumber. Then i felt myself getting horrifically froogle with my money, to the point where I'd get rather indignant with the lady on the till at subway if she charged me full price for a 'sub of the day'. I put this down to being my fathers son. He would be unbelievably proud me for this slightly irrational irk. Then all of a sudden I'm getting worried about my idiot friends!

Its not just socially either. I find myself really struggling to get in to new music. Back when I was18 we had a terrific year for music with the likes of The Killers, Kasabian, Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party and the world conquering Goldie Lookin' Chain emerging. We were the trend setters! Now I don't know what I'm supposed to be listening, get a little frustrated, and resort back to old Weezer albums. When I heard the rumour that Green Day, Blink 182 and the aforementioned Weezer were going to play one of the days at Reading I almost jizzed with excitement. 'Yay I can be 16 again!' Since I've left university it appears I've lost all touch, something I really didn't think would happen.

I have spent way to much of my spare time recently talking about this fucking credit crunch. I was talking to someone still at uni who said she felt a little bad because she didn't know what all the fuss was about, so I spent 15 minutes boring the poor girl to tears talking about the tricky situation I knew other people were in. I'd only just met her! what a prick! She's older then me, doing medicine, and here I am try to be intellectually superior by talking about cunting finance.

There are hundreds of other little things which are making me feel old (the cold does make my knee go stiff which is just plain wrong) and I've got to be honest its depressing the hell out of me. I'm not sure about anyone else but in the back of my head I'm thinking 22 is the beginning of the end. Its ll down hill from here. Essentially its bollocks and I thinks its just a result of being scared of the future. I do take comfort, however, how young I feel compared to other people in there early 20's.

Not one but two of my ex girlfriends from when I was much younger are now married. It-is-fucking-insane. I'm sure they were ready and I hope they're going to be very happy but just the thought of getting married makes me want to hurl myself into the Avon river and swim to Mexico. Marriage is one thing but people I went to school with are now having kids. KIDS! Now this really is scary because, and i know its an old cliche, but i really can't look after myself let alone a kid. For example so far this evening I have drunk a litre and a half of chocolate milk, had chicken dippers and waffles for dinner and smoke enough to make Keith Richards proud. Instead of getting changed into casual clothes i simply took off my work clothes and put on my dressing gown (that was at 5.30) and tomorrow night will be a shamefully similar story. Me with a kid? the poor little bastard would almost certainly grow up to be either a horrible slob or a serial killer.

And I still go out and do ridiculous things, which brings me to the reason why today of all days I'm all of a sudden rather terrified of the 'o' word. Whats unbelievably stupid is, with this exact same group of guys last weekend, I went on a three day bender which involved some incidents which I'm to ashamed to admit on such a public forum. I've started to think that these stunts we pull may just be a way of staving off this inevitable sharp descent into being boring an old. But at least we're getting old kicking and screaming and not submitting to its evil claws.

Make that 2 lires of Chocolate Milk. I am on fire!!!